Mattea's Birth Story

Since about 30 weeks we knew that Mattea was going to be a big girl. Her ultrasound measurement at that point was over four pounds. At this point the doctor talked about having her early and checking around 35/36 weeks to see how big she was. On May 7th at 36 weeks we had another ultrasound. Mattea's weight measurement was over 9lbs. Now in my own head I had to believe that the tech was wrong and the error rate was right and that my little Mattie was only going to be 8lbs :) After our ultrasound the tech took us to see the doctor. He stated that he didn't want me to go past 37 weeks and we were scheduled to have Mattea on May 14th. He mentioned just going right to having a C Section due to her size. I wanted to at least try to be induced... i should have known better given my delivery history with Karis! I was given a prescription of steroid injections that would boost her lung development and sent on my way. So on the morning of May 14th I made a call to Labor and Delivery at Rapid City Regional Hospital to see if they had "room" for me to be induced. They did and Clint and I headed out about 7am, leaving Karis with my mom and leaving her for the first time overnight with someone else. We arrived at the hospital about 8am, got settled into our room about 8:30 and was all hooked up to the Pitocin by 9am. I was already almost 4cm dilated, however Mattea was still very high in my pelvis. I started to have some contractions around noon that I noticed were a little stronger. About 12:30 the doctor came in and broke my water. There was some Meconium in my water, but the doctor stated that it was very light and he was not concerned about it. After my water breaking my contractions continued to get stronger. We had a good nurse and she was very encourging, but I should have listened to my body and my husband and asked for my Epidural sooner!!! About 4pm I knew that it was time for the epidural and Clint told her that I needed it. After asking for the epidural my contractions intensfied. My nurse wanted to or had to push a bag of IV fluid before the "good drug man" could come and visit. This is where it all becomes a little blurry to me... I decided to stand while getting the fluid as my contracts were coming on pretty strong. During this time I started to have incredible pressure that never really subsided with the contractions I was watching on the monitor. I could see the ebb and flow of the contraction, but I certainly was not feeling the relief! The "good drug man" came in. He was a nice guy and I think really good at his job... I know he got the epidural in there... it worked for about two contractions... then... it didn't! Now here is where it gets REALLY blurry for me! After the epidural I kept telling my nurse that something just wasn't right, I wasn't getting any relief between contractions. She called my doctor. I could hear them on the phone, as I screamed...He arrived I swear like an hour later, maybe about 7pm. At this point the "good drug guy", my nurse and Clint were telling him that something was not right. My nurse told him that it all had intensfied very quickly, the drug guy said that he knew he had gotten the epi in right and Clint told him that I had had a vaginal birth without an epidural working before and was not in this kind of pain. All the while I screamed.... Just get her out!!! That went to... Just get IT out!!! I heard my doctor ask about doing a spinal block, he said no, and I said... I don't care how you get her out, just get her OUT! So the decision was made to go under general and have a C Section. They unhooked me from the pitocin and my contractions started to subside. I remember Clint kissing me and praying over me. Then I remember being wheeled into the OR and getting hooked up and strapped down. I heard the nurses counting the instruments... one, one, two, two, three, three, etc.... I think I was going in and out at this point. The next thing I remember was my doctor coming into the OR, someone asked him where he had been... He said he had to go look for his son and take him home... i remember thinking... i won't be seeing this guy again!!! The very nice "good drug guy" said, "It's time to have a baby, lean you're head back and I'm going to push on your throat..." I next thing I remember is getting woken up in recovery, someone telling me that Mattea was a very big girl and that she was in the NICU due to breathing issues and low blood sugar. I was pretty much out of it... but they wheeled me into the NICU to see her before taking me to my room. I don't remember much... I remember Clint being there and telling me about her, I remember looking over and seeing her under the oxygen hood and wires and tubes everywhere, I remember asking if she was going to be OK. They wheeled me to my room, Clint visited before going to a hotel that night to get some sleep. I had a great nurse that first night that said as soon as I was more with it, she would take me to see Mattea. About 5am the next morning she wheeled me to the NICU to see Mattea. At this time she was off the oxygen, was hooked up to monitors and had an IV in her hand. Mattea's nurse stated that she was being given antibotics for the meconium aspiration and glucose for her blood sugar. At this time I learned that her blood sugar had been a 16 when they first tested it... very low! I also learned for the first time that Mattea was born at 8:06pm weighing in at 9lbs 14oz and was 21 and half inches tall!!! Mattea stayed in the NICU for the next four days, working hard to get her blood sugar under control. They also noticed a heart murmur and she was being watched for that as well. Mattea continued to get better over the next few days. Once she was able to eat on Wednesday night, after being born on Monday I would go for her feedings. After being able to hold her formula and keep her blood sugar maintained they released both of us from the hospital together on Friday, May 18th.

As I look back at Mattea's birth I have to confess that I do have some guilt that even now, nine weeks later I still feel. I feel like I should have gone for the C section off the bat knowing that I had a hard time pushing Karis out and she was only 7 pounds. I have guilt about the fact that neither Clint nor I were really present for her birth, that we didn't get to hear her first cry or get to hold her right away. I feel guilt about her condition, that if I had controlled my diabetes more, even though it was controlled she would not have been so big and would not have had blood sugar issues. Guilt is a part of parenting... I'm sure there will be more things to feel guilty about as she gets older, but for now, nine weeks to the day and almost time of her birth I can only look at her and see how perfect she is and how lucky we are to have her!